Members

VLAD
Voice: 10 or 1
Graduation: 2011
Positions: 39°57″N; 75°10″W
Likes: Babies, Wawa, endangered species (breakfast, lunch, and dinner, respectively)
Dislikes: Funky smells, bright lights in the morning
Major: Musician Impersonation, minor in Russian
Hometown: Yardley, PA
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: Banned in 12 States and 17 European countries
Distinctive Attribute: “No, you’re actually the first person to notice my name like that.”

BAZZLE
Voice: Tenor II
Graduation: 1902
Positions: Whatever one daddy tells me
Likes: Basilberries, 2 Girls 1 Cup
Dislikes: Dissection videos
Major: Interspecies Mating, Pediatric Gynecology
Hometown: Haddonfield, NJ
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: Lived inside a woman for 9 months
Distinctive Attribute: Hands down, the most disturbed human being alive

JUNIORER TOKIN
Voice: Hats
Graduation: Shats
Positions: Lats
Likes: Pats
Dislikes: Genos
Major: Pain
Hometown: Mane
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: Leprechaun
Distinctive Attribute: A strapping chin bone

MANQ
Voice: Bass
Graduation: just livin’ the dream
Positions: Striker
Likes: skittles, tuna (the smell), Native Americans
Dislikes: Mox, tuna (the taste), Redskins
Major: Dreams
Hometown: Chicago, DC
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: pledging phi slamma jamma penn chapter lambda class
Distinctive Attribute: chest hair, good gramma

Col. LINGUS
Voice: Tenor 1
Graduation: MMX (Those are Roman Numerals, idiot!)
Positions: Baller, shot-caller, resident Pokemon master
Likes: Rooftops, Pepsi, cows, processed food, and Pootie Tang
Dislikes: Pants, heterocelibacy, and Spam
Major: Pick-Up Lines with a minor in Napping
Hometown: Cedarbubble, WI
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: Spent quality time at Allegro’s
Distinctive Attribute: Dirty hippie

BEAR LEE
Voice: Tenor 3.14
Graduation: Taking over the world before then
Positions: Heir to the Punk Rock throne
Likes: Free food, free t-shirts, free t-shirts with pictures of food on them
Dislikes: Correct pitch, haircuts
Major: Actually, a general with 4 stars
Hometown: Cerritos, CA
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: Bear Lee is in Penn Six.
Distinctive Attribute: GRAAAAAWRR!

DOZER
Voice: Tenor, too
Graduation: the future purrfect
Positions: Future High Chancellor of Pangaea II
Likes: silence, space woks
Dislikes: LOUD, self expression
Major: Public Speaking
Hometown: Neptune 7
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: 12 hour naps
Distinctive Attribute: zorlocked eyebrows

PHLEPS
Voice: Vocoder
Graduation: Present perfect
Positions: Small Forward
Likes: Matt Castle
Dislikes: Garrison Hearst Castle, Water
Major: Bioincornatics
Hometown: Chicago
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: Doppelganger
Distinctive Attribute: Wingspan

Sir BROCK LANDERS III
Voice: Bass
Graduation: Victorian Valedictorian of 2010
Positions: Bottom
Likes: Brockblocking Ward, OTB, subway singing
Dislikes: Being called an idiot, skunks
Major: Achieving Literacy
Hometown: Wearatoga, California
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: More a cappella music on his iPod than any other straight man
Distinctive Attribute: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turltles backpack

SMANTIS SABESTIAN GUAC
Voice: He has crabs
Graduation: No seriously
Positions: He needs to get that shit checked out
Likes: FPAN Flutes, Symantec
Dislikes: Semantics
Major: Full phleps
Hometown: Land before fhlym
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: Nobel fleece prize
Distinctive Attribute: Ignorepence

SLYMER
Voice: Mediocre at best
Graduation: Prefereable
Positions: Pro-abortion/anti-choice
Likes: Laughing with people that aren’t talking to him, Egon, beauty queens
Dislikes: Malcolm X, heterocelibacy, consequences
Major: Douchebag
Hometown: Dallas, TX
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: The Scourge of Swarthmore
Distinctive Attribute: “Oh, scissor me, Xerxes! Scissor me timbers!”

SHOMIZE
Voice: Muted trumpet
Graduation: Cylinder
Positions: 1st, 2nd, and 3rd
Likes: Tuna smelts
Dislikes: Rabies, babies, baby rabbits, rapid bandits
Major: Maybe chemistry
Hometown: Tower Eating Club
Anything else/claim to fame: Played in a 1940’s hair band in Jordan
Distinctive Attribute: “Shh it’s so moizy in here”

SUNSHYNE
Voice: Baritone
Graduation: 20dozen
Positions: baker’s cousin
Likes: handstands, handshakes, sam handwich
Dislikes: hands
Major: bed4ya honey!!
Hometown: Groton, CA
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: special emmy award winner
Distinctive Attribute: very berry bright, ubiquity

PRIMUS
Voice: Bass
Graduation: 11111011011
Positions: Autobot leader, Jew Crew muscle
Likes: Sockets, robo boogie, sending terrible emails
Dislikes: Plugs, rust, sending good emails
Major: DLD with Stan Lee
Hometown: Washington, DC (for Realzies)
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: Did we mention the emails? They suck.
Distinctive Attribute: Is more than meets the eye

WARD
Voice: Bearitone
Graduation: Doesn’t actually go to Penn
Positions: Village idiot, Getting Laid Chair
Likes: Drexel chicks, the Hardly Boys, deer antlers
Dislikes: Chip, Lingus, heterocelibacy
Major: Fashion (concentration in Sewing)
Hometown: Nowheresville, Oregon
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: Has hoes in different area codes
Distinctive Attribute: Green pants: his mom bought them.

BURNSY
Voice: Baritone
Graduation: 2006
Positions: texas seesaw
Likes: Belgianz, Rueben sandwitches
Dislikes: Belgians, ruben studdard, a cappella
Major: BS in Dischord
Hometown: Brockton, vt
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: horseshoe crab box
Distinctive Attribute: terribly afraid of night crabs

BRÜNO(X)
Voice: Tenor Jew
Graduation: Class of ’07. Best class ever!!!
Positions: Pre-frosh “coordinator”
Likes: Everyone
Dislikes: Except you
Major: Hotel Management
Hometown: Roslyn, LI
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: “NO! Don’t come in!” …and he didn’t.
Distinctive Attribute: Prepubescent voice

SNIFFY McYAMYAMS
Voice: Contralto
Graduation: n/a
Positions: Ass-kicking squirrel
Likes: Kicking ass
Dislikes: You
Major: Rodent Studies
Hometown: Biopond tree
Anything else/Claim-to-fame: Token squirrel, anger management issues
Distinctive Attribute: Rabies